Empathy, it seems, is back in vogue again with the recent arrival of a number of new publications which appear to take the subject far beyond our present scope and understanding. In practical terms, empathy is part of our emotional intelligence (EI) which Daniel Goleman defined as “…the capacity for recognising our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well within ourselves and in our relationships”.
From Daniel Goleman’s definition above emotional intelligence has two distinct dimensions: on our personal side we have self-awareness, which helps us to recognise our own emotions, and the effect they have on others, and on the social side, we have social awareness. One has to do with self-management and the other with relationship management.
Empathy, it seems, is back in vogue again with the recent arrival of a number of new publications which appear to take the subject far beyond our present scope and understanding
Although empathy is part of this social competency, it depends very much on our ability to be self-aware. Howard Thrurman, an American inspirational leader, speaks about this personal awareness in the following way, “There is something in everyone of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you will ever have. And if you cannot hear it, you will all your life spend your days on the ends of strings that someone else pulls”.
“Greed is out, empathy is in” is the theme of one of the recent publications by Frans de Waal, The Age of Empathy. The author here makes a persuasive case for putting empathy at the centre of ideas about human nature, education, and the future of the planet. Much of Mr. de Waal’s idealistic book is about expanding the theme, “Greed is out; empathy is in” and showing historically how this has come about.
In another publication, Jeremy Rifkin, in Empathic Civilization stresses that we are moving away from our individualistically driven society with its persistent demands for more technology and personal freedoms towards a more inclusive and empathic one.
Although both books are thorough in their approach, they are somewhat over optimistic in their claims to an emerging empathic society.
In our present competitive and individualistic society, empathy is often presented as a means of how to succeed in social and professional interpersonal encounters
In our present competitive and individualistic society, empathy is often presented as a means of how to succeed in social and professional interpersonal encounters; it is often seen as how to figure the other fellow out. Rifkin points out that this culture is changing as we move, no matter how slowly, from the blatant individualism of our present competitive environment to a more collective one, where the ability to function within a group and build support networks are becoming crucial survival skills.
However, taking a dialectical view of history and evolution of life a new synthesis will emerge which will encompass elements of both our present individualism and pursuit of technology and the empathic world that our authors advocate. It will probably not be as de Waal and Rifkin envisaged. This one-directional view of Waal and Rifkin is the opposite to my belief in a dialectical view of history which I believe is more realistic.
An interesting experiment in empathy was carried out by Profs. Matthew Feinberg (Toronto) and Robb Willer (Stanford) recently, that shows that arguments based on our political opponent’s moral principles, rather than on our own, have a much better chance of success. Feinberg and Willer were trying to figure out ways of overcoming this ever developing political polarization that is ultimately leading to a ‘them versus us’ sentiment in Western societies. “Most people are not very good at appealing to other people’s values,” says Prof. Feinberg. Any effort to empathize with another is usually not on the cards. We explain matters in our words and from our perspective. Feinberg and Willer suggest “Instead of alienating the other side and just repeating your own sense of morality, start thinking about how your political opposition thinks and see if you can frame messages that fit with that thought process”.
Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within the other being’s frame of reference, i.e., the capacity to place oneself in another’s position
Frans de Waal’s more empathic approach has some distance to travel before we reach his ‘Promised Land’ of his empathic society. De Waal concludes that countries with high levels of mutual trust tend to be the happiest, and that even Adam Smith warned us against relying on greed as a motivator for social organizing.
Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within the other being’s frame of reference, i.e., the capacity to place oneself in another’s position. Daniel Goleman writes “Empathy builds on self-awareness; the more open we are to our own emotions, the more skilled we will be in reading feelings of others”. The capacity for empathy is important for all aspects of persuasion, whether in the professional or social domains.
The theme “Greed is out, empathy is in” is an appealing one, although somewhat idealistic. As our world evolves, the new emerging synthesis will most likely contain much of the present with a more empathic way of conducting our relationships.
Person who started out dirt poor will forever remember it. I know. But then you get put in position where a factory is simply no longer profitable, and while you KNOW what it will feel like for all your employees to be let go, progress requires sacrifices.
Its easy to call that ‘greed’. But it is no different than being in an airplane emergency situation, and placing air mask on yourself before placing it on your child. If you go down, you cannot ever help anyone else again.
And that applies even if you have billions, and keeping that one non-profitable factory would simply cost you few hundred million per year. One poor decision leads to another. One bee sting might not take you out, but bees come in a swarm. There will always be far more of those in need than those anyone can help. So we close a factory, and next chance we get, we invest in a school.