{"id":3230,"date":"2020-04-30T03:47:04","date_gmt":"2020-04-30T02:47:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.iese.edu\/mba\/?p=3230"},"modified":"2020-04-30T15:28:26","modified_gmt":"2020-04-30T14:28:26","slug":"mba-confinement-stories-kaitlynn-brown-mba-21","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.iese.edu\/mba\/mba-confinement-stories-kaitlynn-brown-mba-21\/","title":{"rendered":"MBA Confinement Stories: Kaitlynn Brown, MBA 21"},"content":{"rendered":"

Kaitlynn Brown, MBA Class of 2021 is from Traverse City, Michigan. After earning her Bachelors in Finance from Michigan State University, she moved to Washington, DC, where she worked for eight years in government contracting. She\u2019ll be interning in London this summer with Citibank as a f<\/em>inancial <\/em>m<\/em>anagement <\/em>a<\/em>ssociate<\/em>.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Her plans for the first day out of lockdown include running to the beach, and perhaps directly into the Mediterranean, and slowly walking and eating her way back home. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

A natural reaction to quarantine, or \u201clockdown,\u201d is to think of all the things you can\u2019t do or of all the time lost. You begin to feel as if you\u2019ve lost all sense of control.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s seemingly no transparency at any level nor is an outcome known, so you look for something, anything to hitch your hopes to.\u00a0And that, I would argue, is Yourself.\u00a0The one person you can depend on is you, and what\u00a0<\/strong>you\u00a0<\/strong><\/em>can control is what is happening\u00a0<\/strong>now, at this moment, in front of you.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

For me, a daily ritual is key, and that starts with coffee. Good coffee is a necessity in our flat.\u00a0French press with freshly ground beans is our standard. On mornings I typically have Greek yogurt with fresh berries and a banana, all topped with granola. There\u2019s no denying I\u2019m a creature of habit. It\u2019s also my way of gaining control of an uncontrollable situation.<\/p>\n

It’s something I had to learn\u00a0<\/strong>before coming to IESE\u00a0<\/strong>and has served me well these last 45 (and growing) days. On day two or three of the lockdown, I created a daily to-do list. No matter how small the task, it went on the list. I then began referencing that list until the items on it became habit.<\/p>\n

I have found it interesting to learn how others manage anxiety. Some people ingest as much information and news as they possibly can. The more news consumed, the more in-control they feel. For me, the more news I read, the more uncertainty I feel,\u00a0leaving me with more questions and less clarity than before.<\/p>\n

I need to limit my daily news intake to two or three short podcasts and one or two articles. Other friends have taken up coding classes, learning Arabic, brainstorming entrepreneurial adventures. Others look to the past and reminisce about travel adventures or resume old hobbies that before the MBA consumed their schedules. And some seek\u00a0companionship in budding relationships. None of these outlets are wrong–there just isn\u2019t a one-size-fits-all approach.<\/p>\n

Perhaps the hardest part is accepting that what others are doing to cope may not work for you, and not giving up, but continue to find what does work. However, this takes time.<\/strong>\u00a0Thankfully, time is precisely what we have. Rather than having the mentality that time is wasting away or that we\u2019re losing time, think of all the ways we\u2019re gaining it. It may be a bit unconventional, but if quarantine has a gift to give, it is time!<\/p>\n

For me this time has meant:<\/p>\n

Time to cook<\/strong><\/p>\n

One of the best aspects of IESE is the diversity of its student body. This is something my flat-mates and I have been able to enjoy through cooking. Dinners and baking have become a way for the four of us to get to know each other, whether through the diverse meals or the conversations had while consuming our creations!<\/strong> We\u2019ve made sure to rotate cooking duties. Not only is it far more enjoyable to cook for other people, it\u2019s also incredibly nice to have someone cook for you. We\u2019re compiling our American, French, Indian, and Mexican dishes for a potential Quarantine Cookbook. Stay tuned!<\/p>\n

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Working hard in the kitchen…<\/p><\/div>\n

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…and finally, the finished product!<\/p><\/div>\n

Time to Work Out<\/strong><\/p>\n

I immediately committed to a daily workout. At first, I used a routine I had created when I was traveling. But with the world being at home, it has been amazing to tap into classes I miss from home in the United States. I\u2019ve taken hip-hop and salsa classes in my living room and bedroom, and even convinced my housemates to join. I\u2019m sure our neighbors have appreciated the entertainment\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

I swallowed my pride and attempted \u201cpush-up challenges\u201d on social media and relaxed through yoga classes. I have also joined around 50 of my classmates and committed to a 60-day workout challenge. The videos are old and not nearly as flashy as the \u201clive\u201d videos streaming on Instagram, but the routine has created yet another IESE community. Us group members check-in with each other daily and we continue to motivate one another.\u00a0Staying active has been integral in keeping me physically healthy, but more importantly, mentally healthy.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Time to create, to read, to reflect<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve started writing and reflecting on the last eight months; term one and two were jam-packed with coursework, summer internship recruiting and navigating a new city. Student life has been nothing short of eventful. It has been a shock to my system not running at 1000 km\/hour every day. But slowing down, remembering all the wonderful and not-so- wonderful moments of the last eight months has been helpful as I look forward to what\u2019s next.<\/strong><\/p>\n

One of the first Amazon orders we made was for a puzzle, art supplies, and books. My housemates will draw or paint, and we all play trivia in the evenings with other classmates. And some days I choose to escape reality entirely, either through puzzling or reading.\u00a0 I have escaped to the shores of North Carolina while reading Delia Owen\u2019s \u201cWhere the Crawdads Sing,\u201d teetered on the line of fantasy and reality in Chloe Benjamin\u2019s \u201cThe Immortalists,\u201d and gotten lost in Rupi Kaur\u2019s words in \u201cMilk and Honey.\u201d<\/p>\n

Time to call <\/strong><\/p>\n

I remember saying my goodbyes last summer and promising family and friends that the time difference would not matter: \u201cI promise I will call\u201d, \u201ccall me anytime\u201d, or \u201cyou\u2019ll never know I\u2019m actually on the other side of the Atlantic\u201d, \u201cjust a phone call away!\u201d<\/p>\n

Well, the reality is, I miscalculated in making those promises. Managing the MBA schedule, both academic and social, took up every minute of my day. And any spare minutes were spent collapsed on my bed. You must make time for life outside the MBA bubble, and I will be the first to confess that that has been a weakness of mine.<\/p>\n

Quarantine has given me\u00a0 the time and headspace to call home.<\/strong> Sometimes it makes me sad to realize how much has happened that my family and friends still don\u2019t know. But then I realize how fun it is to remember and proudly share my accomplishments\u2014and laugh at my failures\u2014with my friends and family.<\/p>\n

Time to sleep<\/strong><\/p>\n

First term, I was averaging 5 hours of sleep. Second term, I was averaging almost 7. The first few weeks of quarantine, I was catching up on sleep. Now, I find it extremely difficult to fall asleep, and then even harder to wake up. I set an alarm; otherwise, I would sleep the day away. This is a new challenge for me. Sleeping well is something I\u2019ve always taken for granted. I\u2019ve tried tea, reading, watching Netflix, not watching Netflix, lavender oil, ocean wave \u201cmusic\u201d. Sometimes a combo works and other times I toss and turn until 2AM, at which point (hopefully) my brain finally turns off.<\/p>\n

Time to Learn\u2026Virtually<\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s tough. Really tough. Rebuilding the confidence to speak \u201cin class.\u201d It\u2019s like returning to day 1 in the classroom all over again. Virtual classes and participation are only part of the challenge, as team dynamics have changed. There\u2019s a new level of stress and stress management that wasn\u2019t there before. Students have family or friends, or friends of friends that are sick. They can\u2019t go home or did go back home and are now quarantined. In some cases, they\u2019re in absolute isolation. No matter how strong of a communicator you are, these added stressors are massive, dynamic, and changing by the hour.<\/p>\n

It was my flat-mate who gave me a reality check when I was feeling defeated. I felt like I was unable to communicate with my team, and even worse I felt like a weak link. She reminded me (from the countless mock interview stories we\u2019ve shared), that for the last five years of my career in the US, my bosses were remote to me. I was (I think) pretty good at working \u201cvirtually\u201d. But this is a different animal. Team dynamics are different. Priorities, and decision-making authority are different.<\/strong><\/p>\n

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My work desk at home<\/p><\/div>\n

Final Thoughts<\/strong><\/p>\n

I was reading a Harvard Business Review<\/em> article on the emotional toll quarantines are taking on society and the parallels to grieving. Grief is not foreign to me. It\u2019s something I carry with me daily. In fact, what we\u2019re all experiencing at some level or another is grief. For me, it\u2019s that familiar weight of the unknown and the uncertainty that begins to take over every part of my body. The HB<\/em>R article, like most grief literature, talks about five stages, how there\u2019s no right recipe for how long one spends in a stage or how many times you go back to certain stages. Because the reality is grief, once assumed, never leaves. You will learn however, how to manage it.<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve all weathered storms before, and we will do it again.<\/strong> For me, that means sometimes slugging through my 40-minute workout; I have made a commitment, I can\u2019t let myself down. Other times that means staying in bed and allowing myself to watch Netflix on repeat. Or, walking into my living room and letting my housemates cook me dinner. I now look at my to-do list only once a week. Sometimes I create new ones for a specific day, but it has become a reference as the items have become routine. These lists help me stay in the present, give me structure for achievable goals, and prevent my mind from going into hyperdrive.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s no getting around the fact that quarantine really does *insert your preferred word*. But stay strong. Try to stay in the present, focus on what is directly in front of you.<\/strong> Enjoy the newfound time for indoor activities, get creative, and connect with the people with whom you\u2019ve lost touch. Use the time to regroup and reset.<\/p>\n

Allow yourself time to reflect and even to get lost in alternate realities. And accept that not every day will be the best day, nor will every day be the worst, but that most importantly: this time in our lives is temporary. Let\u2019s not waste it.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Thank you Kaitlynn for your honest sharing and positivity!<\/em><\/p>\n

Pursue your dream MBA! Take these next steps today:<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n