Making a Difference: Personal Magnetism

Charles Handy, a management guru said, “You may be hopeless in running IBM, but put in charge of a school you may make all the difference”. Another commentator, Jeffrey Pfeffer, of Stanford Business School, confirms Handy’s view of charisma, and suggests that we can be charismatic in some situations but not in others: the right person at the right time in the right situation. Personal magnetism, on the other hand, is more related to the interpersonal area, although there may be some overlap. It has been generally described as a personal power or attraction which enables those possessing it to attract, influence and even dominate others.

People with this high level of attraction, according to author Theron Dumont, “emanate an atmosphere of good cheer, happiness which affects others in a desirable way”. Whilst on the other hand, people who are perceived as lukewarm tend, according to Dumont’s research, to exhibit no strong ambitions or motives, (even though they may harbour them), and are often perceived somewhat as lacking in character or personality. But can this situation of low personal magnetism be remedied? Yes, unlike charisma which depends on our personality matching the situation, our personal magnetism can be improved on.

Many politicians, lawyers, and business people who depend and rely upon their effect on others, know quite well that their personal magnetism is directly related to the attraction they have for others. On the other hand, many specialists, such as scientists, academics, researchers, writers and others don’t need to radiate such a high level of personal magnetism, as their work stands by itself. They have an intellectual energy, which is attractive within its own sphere although they are often considered colourless and even lifeless to others outside their sphere of activity.

The dimensions of Personal Magnetism

The two dimensions of personal magnetism are its physical dimension and its mental counterpart.

Mental magnetism is created by a strong focus. It is a strong positive focus (similar to an enthusiasm) towards people in general and particular ideas. This focus is embedded in our thought patterns, and drives our encounters with others. Its results are tremendously attractive for others. It creates a compelling attraction for those surrounding you. Part of this attraction is the perception that we are both empathic and interested listeners.

Alongside this mental focus, is its physical counterpart, which is propelled by a strong nervous force. Physical magnetism comes from this nerve force which in turn depends on our rhythm of breathing and the distribution of air to the various centres of our nerve system. This can be natural or learnt.

The objective of those of us with a low level of such attractiveness or personal magnetism is to increase our level of nerve force, which in turn will enhance our level of personal magnetism.

Let’s look briefly at some ideas taken from the literature on developing our physical magnetism:

1. We must train ourselves to breathe fully from the atmosphere, deeply and regularly.
2. We should avoid weak and irregular ways of breathing, as this can contribute to a colourless and lifeless manner of speaking. For example, whether or not we are feeling angry or calm we must maintain the same rhythm of breathing. This maintains our poise and self-control.
3. We must find our own breath rhythm. Well trained actors know this very well. For example, look at the video clips of Ronald Reagan speaking and this point becomes clear.
4. We should spend time practicing breathing in and out in an even manner and finding a rhythm that suits us without producing any effort or strain. Do not follow the advice given for public speaking of taking the occasional deep breath; do not, for example, count in your mind 1 to 10 when breathing out. When you breathe in, think of the inhaled air being distributed to your various nerve centres and then breathe out. This exercise will take time and perseverance.
5. Mentally place yourself in different moods such as an agitated one or a happy one, and breathe in and out rhythmically. Continue this exercise of rhythmic breathing until you feel it has become normal.
6. Until this regular breathing pattern is achieved, there is no sense in going on.
7. Your vitality and sense of mental vigour will grow as you practice.
8. We should also practice in a mild form stretching and muscle tensing exercises, but nothing vigorous.
9. All of us must believe in our ability to project our vital force. This belief is essential to our development. We must develop the will to project our vital force by using the power of our mind while remembering it is an art which will only become natural with practice.

Other non-essential attributes that may help in building our personal magnetism are being tall, body fitness, and good appearance.