As Christmas is around the corner, there is no better topic than writing about expats and Christmas. Last year about the same time I reflected on the unexpected difficulties of going back home for Christmas. Holidays at home may sound like a great idea indeed, as one naturally expects the comfort and familiarity of one’s home, yet this is exactly where a reality gap emerges and all the possible changes – of oneself, others, places, traditions – come to the fore.
This year, I would like to elaborate more on the opposite scenario. What if an expat is NOT heading home for Christmas? As stated well in a recent Telegraph article, ‘for expats, holidays can mean liberation from pressures to celebrate with family in the usual ways, but also separation from the familiar and the comforting’. Therefore, there are both PROs and CONs to look into.
One clear benefit of celebrating Christmas abroad is the possibility to experience it in a new, and different way. Staying abroad for Christmas is a great way of immersing oneself into yet another cultural experience, get to know local holiday traditions, and participate in what are often very important celebrations of the local community. Moreover, Christmas holidays abroad also means being around different people, possibly from different countries, who can also amplify the holiday experience. In essence, back home you are used to celebrating Christmas the ‘family way’, whereas being abroad at least doubles the choices: you can do it either in the local way, or create a unique expat way, combining everything possible.
Yet, what is new, different and exciting often also feels out of the comfort zone. And that is where uncomfortable feelings emerge. Indeed, for many Christmas time traditionally is family time, which is why it is the prime time for experiencing expat blues, feelings of nostalgia, separateness, and loneliness. Luckily, nowadays social media can ease expat blues, yet not without a cost, in my opinion.
Social media create opportunities, yet, they also create expectations and obligations towards availability. Just imagine explaining to your family that not only are you not spending Christmas at home, but you are also not really available for a Skype session with every family member. As I previously noted in the blog, even short family visits can be a burden for expats and result in absolutely NO vacation, due to many obligations of meeting with all family and friends. I believe that the same obligations emerge in terms of keeping in touch, especially around holiday time. As brought up in another relevant Telegraph article, keeping in touch can also be more difficult due to time differences and possible limits of accessing technology for some family members or friends. Finally, getting everyone a present when being back home sounds like a much easier mission than doing that over distance.
Naturally, I believe that the part of family expectations and subsequent pressures can be well managed by timely communication, by explaining your decisions and motives, showing that you care, and promising to make up with another home visit 🙂
Nevertheless, even with family support, Christmas abroad might be yet another facet of expat life, which might be challenging and might require adjustment to some extent. Let me conclude with the exact same words I used a year ago:
‘it is important to manage our expectations, be ready for slight setbacks, and most importantly, be open for experiencing it (Christmas) in a new way. With that being said, happy holidays!’